When I tell people that I crossfit, the first question I am usually asked is, “what is crossfit?”
I explain what crossfit is and the next comment I get is, “well, that’s cool. Just don’t get too muscly”
Then I get angry. And people don’t like me when I’m angry.
Sorry for all the cursing, but who is she or he or you or anyone to tell me what the hell to do with my body?!
Don’t get me wrong, I am trying to be more fit. I am not trying to be the she-hulk (even though I think that would be the coolest thing pretty much ever). But with fitness comes muscles. Because physically fit people are strong. Duh.
I am trying–and training–to be the most fit I can be. If for nothing else but the clearly inevitable zombie apocalypse. And for me, being fit, does not mean weighing 4 pounds, wearing size 0 million and not being able to lift a pencil without struggling.
I want to lift things that are way heavier than me. Know why? Because that means–if I needed to–that I could lift my own body weight a bunch of times. I want to have a healthy body with all the right kinds of curves. I want to have an ass and not a butt.
No one is going to convince me that a “thigh gap” or whatever is sexy if you look like a mosquito hawk. My thighs touch and that shit is great news. Why? Because if I’m ever trapped under something up to 2x my body weight, I can push that shit off of me.
I don’t watch the scale. I don’t care what that piece of shit says and neither should you. It’s just a number. It’s your relationship with freakin’ gravity. The only thing I care about gravity is seeing how fast I can pick up whatever it’s holding down. Know what it isn’t gonna hold down? Me. That stupid scale can’t tell me how awesome I am or how far I’ve come.
All I try to do everyday in the box is be better.
Get double unders (that shiz still hasn’t happened yet).
Be more fit.
My goal is not and never has been to be stick skinny. Because I can’t be. I am not built like that. I have and will forever have hips, thighs, boobs, and ass. So I had a decision: use what I got and make it tight…or look like a bag of mayonnaise and die in the zombie apocalypse. I chose the former.
A lot of people I talk to want to be skinny and don’t want muscles. They want to run on the treadmill for 30191803 hours a day. They don’t want to lift weights because “it’ll make ’em bulky”.
If that is your goal, fine.
Watch the scale.
Follow a crazy, 500 calorie a day diet
And be skinny fat.
I’ll be over here, feeding my muscles with steak and (sweet) potatoes.