If my mother only knew…

If you were to ask my mama, she would say I wasn’t that bad of a kid. Ask me? I was a demon child. 

Don’t let the Glamour Shots fool you. And that denim jacket gave me ALL the life.

I made good grades but I challenged everything. I thought every confrontation could be solved with a fight (oh. you wanna fight about it?). I always had to know “why?” I bitched and complained about cleaning, cooking, and sewing.

“Mom! Why do I have to sew?”
“Because who is going to darn your husband’s socks, Aislinn?”

“Mom! Why do I have to talk Spanish?”
“Because how else will you talk to your mother-in-law, Aislinn?”

“Mom! Why do I have to cook?” 
“Because I don’t want to, Aislinn.”
(Just kidding. My mother tolerates loves cooking)

“Mom! Why do I have to write and speak correctly?! I wanna say ‘lol’, ‘brb’, and spell ‘cool’ like ‘kewl’ like my friends!”

(with a really judgemental look on her face)
“Because you will sound ignorant and I will not let anyone say that ignorance came out of this house. Also because people will judge you.”

God. I was so annoying. 

Second grade. Yes, I have a pasta necklace on. Yes, that is my real hair. All that judgment you’re doing? Quit it. Right now. Second grade was rough.

Once I got into junior high and high school, I started being a rebel. Kind of. Like, I did things I wasn’t supposed to…but there was NO WAY I was gonna flaunt it in my parents’ faces. Because I knew some kids who did that and their parents were just like “oh no! What will we do about our rebellious child?”
…but I knew if I did it, my parents would murder me. Straight Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 

I was a rebel on the down low, yo.

So! If my mother only knew…

1. I tried smoking cigarettes twice. Both times they were Virginia Slims Menthol Lights. Both times I failed miserably and I did NOT become an immediate addict like all the literature in the school nurses office said I would if I tried smoking. 

2. One time, in college, I skipped all my classes for an entire month to pick up extra shifts at work because I blew all my money at one time and couldn’t afford to pay my bills. I didn’t tell my parents because I was really embarrassed that I could be so irresponsible. 

3. My first semester of freshman year at LSU, I literally drove every other weekend to San Antonio to spend time with my then boyfriend, but he was not the reason I wanted to transfer to UTSA. That would be because I wanted to take class with my best friend, Brittany.

4. In elementary school, I used to creep into her room and try on her bras to estimate how big my boobs would get and then meticulously fold them back the way that she had them so she wouldn’t notice. Ha. 
(ladies, don’t even try to tell me you didn’t do that)

5. I always knew that she kept Christmas presents at the bottom of her closet behind the shoes, but I would literally WILL myself to stay away from them. I didn’t want to ruin her surprise (she LOVES giving Christmas presents).

6. (if my mama and daddy both knew!) One time, my dad almost accidentally threw away all of the love letters, pictures, and little notes/artifacts from before and just after my parents got married. I managed to save them before certain demise and I’ve kept them safe ever since to avoid a accidental and unfortunate fate at the bottom of a trash can. 

I know I’m saying all these like she doesn’t know…but knowing Mama Nancy, she probably does know. With the exception of the last one. And if she didn’t before…she knows now! (hi, mom!) 

Linking up with: Two Thirds Hazel and Mommy in Heels

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