5 Things I Want to Stop Seeing On Social Media

As connected as I am to social media, I find myself getting regularly frustrated at the things I see on there. Facebook used to be a cool thing for only college kids. I miss the days when you had to have a .edu email to gain access. A lot.

With the invent of Twitter and Instagram, the ridiculousness is real.

These are the things I want to stop seeing on social media, starting in 2014:

5. Pictures of people’s money to show how they rich they are/posting pictures of you doing and having illegal shit
Posting photos of all your “stacks of hunneds” or whatever doesn’t make people jealous of you or want to be you.
It makes them want to burglarize you.
Because now they know you’ve got cash and they know where you keep it.
Idiot.
While we’re on that topic, stop posting photos of yourself smoking weed, waving around illegally purchased guns, and doing other illegal shit, morons.
How about stop doing illegal stuff, okay? Or at best, be smarter than this. Please.
(Or don’t, get arrested, and allow the state prosecutors to use your own photos and videos to build a huge case against your character. That’s fine, too.)

Good, now people want to burglarize you AND the cops now know exactly how many counts of illegal gun possession to charge you with.

4. Stop saying shit like “stacks of hunneds”. It’s HUNDREDS for Christ’s sake.
If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s people who intentionally misspell things. I mean, I can forgive a few spelling errors because, you know, accidents happen.
But when your statuses start luking lyyke dhis?
I have a freaking problem.
You get that that isn’t cute right?
In fact, you get that you’re actually spelling out a speech impediment?
Who even knew that was possible?
I am (not so) silently judging you and everyone who allows you to continue doing this.

Seriously? WTF IS THIS?

3. FREE LIL SO-AND-SO!
No. He went to jail on 3 counts of murder in the 1st degree, stealing from his mama and possession of schedule 3 drugs. I don’t care that he’s your sister’s mama’s brother’s baby cousin’s nephew’s uncle. You can leave Lil So-and-So exactly where he is. Thanks.

2. Your political opinions
I don’t care. Honestly. You can believe what you want and so can everyone else. You’re not gonna change anyone’s mind or win any battles by fighting with them and telling them what they should believe and how they should feel. Duh.

1. Half naked selfies in front of dirty mirrors.
STOP IT. Just stop.
I get pretty disappointed that a lot of people are just stripping clothes off for-literally-“likes” on a photo. The thought of that just overwhelms me and makes me want to say UMPTEEN prayers for humanity.
But the fact that you take a half naked selfie in front of a mirror that you didn’t even bother to CLEAN first?
Well that speaks volumes to your character and your (lack of) hometraining.
I am disgusted. And appalled.

This got long really quickly. My bad. What are some things you want to keep off social media in 2014?

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