5 reasons why I could never be a Tanner girl

It’s Friday. Which means 5 on Friday. And I usually use Fridays to kind of word vomit about all the things I wanted to talk about all week, but couldn’t because I just didn’t have enough to make a post.

Well that’s changing today, kids.

Growing up, I loved to watch Full House. It was SO cool. Like, every time Stephanie said “How rude!” and every time Michelle hit us with the, “you got it, dude” and every time DJ gave some really sensible and sisterly advice about life. Not to mention the fact that these girls are living in a house-in San Fransisco-with a morning show host for a dad, a musician for an uncle, and a lovable comedian for the other father figure. I was totes jealous.

Recently, Nick at Nite has been airing reruns of my good old favorite TV show (Jesus, am I so old that my fave shows are now on late night cable tv?!) and, of course, I’ve been watching it. And as an adult I realized:
I could never, ever been a Tanner girl.

And here’s why:

5. My parents would have killed me the FIRST time I drove a motor vehicle into the kitchen.
I don’t know about you, but I’ll never forget what I was doing when Stephanie reversed Joey’s brand new car straight through the kitchen window. And then, a few years later, DJ and Steve ended up putting a cement truck through the window, into the kitchen and FILLING THE KITCHEN WITH WET CEMENT. Somehow both of these situations ended with a hug from good old dad and everything was A-OK. 

4. I could never get away with calling my Daddy “dude”.
…or telling him “how rude!” he was, for that matter. My daddy is daddy or sir and that’s all there is to it. And as cute as that may have seemed when I was watching it at 6 years old…at 26, all I can think about is how saying any of that to my parents would have resulted in a swift slap and come to Jesus talk. 

3. All those DJ/Danny heart to heart talks.
Y’ALL. I canNOT get over how DJ talks to her dad! Yeah, yeah. I get it. He’s trying to figure out how to do the whole single parent thing. But let me catch myself telling Daddy Carlos how “unfair” something is…and he’ll figure out a way to show me just how unfair things can get. And the talking back? No. Just no.

2. The time DJ fell asleep at Steve’s apartment.
NO. First, there would be none of this creeping around where Danny tries to spy on DJ and Steve. If I wasn’t hope at curfew, my daddy was going to the apartment where he would proceed to bust the door down. With a shotgun in hand. With no time for, nor would he care about, an explaination about what happened. And grounded for a  month? Try “no one will ever see you again. Ever.” 

1. Kimmie Gibbler
Kimmie Gibbler was one disrespectful little girl, y’all. I guarantee if Brittany had ever talked to my parents the way Kimmie talked to DJ’s, I would have demanded that she leave. You just don’t talk to your elders like that! Additionally, even if I was blinded by the fact that she was my best friend, my parents would have, very politely, told her to get out and never come back.  And add on top of that, she had stinky feet? Nancy. Ain’t. Havin’. It.

And there you go. I am never gonna be a Tanner girl. Childhood dream dashed.
But I think being a Herrera girl is treating me pretty well, no?

Enjoy your weekend!

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