My friend Kristie told me about OKCupid when she got to grad school in New York. I thought it was weird. The whole “post a profile and then people will decide if they like you or not” thing.
But it’s become a thing now.
OKCupid, Tinder, whatever.
And what have Kristie and I learned from OKCupid and Tinder?
1. Boys say weird shit to us.
2. “OKCupid and Tinder are the best ways to be reminded how many people are THE WORST.”-Kristie Larson
People have sent so many weird messages that Kristie has actually started an entire YouTube channel dedicated to some of the strangest messages she’s received. Not Ok, Cupid.
But I don’t even want to go into that. I don’t care about strange messages (even though they do creep me out on a regular basis). I care that 74 guys have sent me the following message or some variation of the following message:
“I bet you’re stronger than me.”
This is cousin to: “you could probably kick my ass” and “you probably have more muscle than me.”
|Yes, there is a spelling error in this meme. No, I don’t care.
I get it. I lift weights. I lift heavy. That shit is fun.
But telling me that I’m stronger than you and I could beat you up and I have more muscle than you is not cute.
It’s not attractive.
I don’t WANT to have more muscle than you or be stronger than you.
I am strong and I am way proud of what I have achieved in my lifting. Hell yeah it’s cool to outlift my boy training partners (although I rarely–if ever–do that because they’re freakin’ beasts).
BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE STRONGER THAN MY (hypothetical) BOYFRIEND.
I squat heavy, but I want to be able to feel like you can protect me.
Not like, if we’re cornered in a dark alley, I’m gonna have to save you every time.
And because if there’s a roach, I have to be sure that you’re gonna be able to save me from it because I don’t play with roaches. Or spiders.
Maybe there are some women who totally dig being dominant and being in charge and being literally and figuratively stronger than their partners, but I’m not one of them.
It’s not cute,
it’s not attractive,
and if it’s the first thing that comes to mind to say to me, it’s probably true.
I am probably stronger than you with more muscle and I can probably kick your ass.
And none of those things are going to make me want to date you.
Besides, there are way better avenues to take when initiating first contact. Like, who shot JFK? What happened to flight 370? Who do you think would win in a fight to the death between the Juggernaut and the Hulk? Which is better–vampire supernatural romance novels or mermaid supernatural romance novels? When was the word “snarky” officially adopted as a word by Websters? These are the questions that need answers and discussion, people!
Happy creepy online dating!