Crisco and Wedding Rings

Day 18 of Jenni @Story Of My Life’s #blogeverydayinMay Challenge.

“Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.”

Mmm. A childhood story.
Just a warning: if you’re on a paleo challenge you may not wanna read this.

I come from a pretty hispanic family and we probably eat all the foods that you imagine we do. And my grandma was the best cook in the whole world. Rice and beans, enchiladas, calabasa con pollo, huevos rancheros. Nom nom nom. My most favorite thing to eat was my grandma’s homemade tortillas. They were perfection. They were thick and buttery and amazing. 

I remember watching her make the balls of dough as a kid, fascinated. She would pull out all the ingredients, put them on the counter and then, like magic, she’d be putting fist sized balls of dough in a plastic bag to refrigerate for cooking the next morning. Because, of course, we needed fresh tortillas for breakfast the next morning. 

I distinctly remember the day she let me help make tortillas. I got to stand up on a chair so I could reach the counter like a big girl. I remember laughing as she’d kneed the dough and her wedding ring would disappear into it and come up covered. Then, she’d complain that she never remembered to take it off before she started. She would walk through each step out loud so I’d remember what she was doing. I remember her smelling like flour, Crisco, and grandma all rolled up. She’d hand me a big clump of dough and tell me to roll it up in a perfect circle and I did as I was told. By the time we got to the end of the dough, I had a lot of perfectly round circles. She used the last of the dough to make two “baby circles”. We packaged up our circles and left our baby circles out.

She used her rolling pin to flatten out our baby circles and cook them up on her comal (flat skillet). She covered them in butter and we sat down to eat ’em. She said we needed a treat for all of our hard work.

Even after all these years later, I still remember what she smelled like, how she laughed, and how to make the perfect flour tortilla (I’d share the recipe, but it’s a secret!)

{What’s your favorite childhood memory?}

A Day In The Life Of…

Another #BlogEverydayInMay production thanks to Jenni @ Story of My Life. I sincerely wish that I could tell you that my day is super exciting and fun but, alas, it isn’t.

My days are usually jam packed with all kinds of various to-dos that are well documented in my planner. 

My Mondays and Wednesdays are generally the same while my Tuesdays and Thursdays look pretty similar, too.

These days: 
-Wake up around 500 am
-Pee, brush teeth, get dressed, pack nike bag for the day, grab all my stuff, head out the door, realize I forgot half of what I need, go back, get that other stuff, head to work.
-Arrive at work around 630 am
-Teach ‘n’ shit
-During planning periods/off hours: grade work, enter grades, post blogs for the day, make photos for the fan page, pay bills, ponder life, catch up on other people’s blogs, read celebrity gossip
-230 pm, school’s out
-Head to other job (on Mondays and Wednesdays, I work at an apartment complex after school. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I work at GNC)
-Head to RSCF to get my butt kicked badly.
-Head home and eat dinner. Usually a substantial amount of meat (that’s what she said)
-Attempt to lay out everything I need for the next day
-Attempt to do dishes/laundry/clean house
-Pass out around 11


I wish I had photos to document my insane schedule, but I don’t. Mainly because I just forget to take pictures until I’m already asleep. I know, I suck.

I should also add that, at any given time, my schedule includes: attending games for my students, arts and crafts, sewing, babysitting, fixing garbage disposals, calling someone else when I discover I can’t fix a garbage disposal, reading, dinner with friends (this happens very, very rarely), talking to my mama on the phone at length, forgetting to eat (this happens quite often), and panicking about things that I absolutely should not panic about (something else that happens quite often)

Things I want to tell my students.

{What does y’all’s day look like?}

10 Things That Make Me Really Happy

Recently (read: yesterday) I ran across the #BlogEveryDayInMay challenge from Jenni @ Story of my life. I’ve been reading a few of my favorite bloggers doing it and I thought, “why not join in?”

Today’s topic is things that make me happy. And that makes me happy. Duh.

1. Sweating. It’s taken me a long time to get to here, but sweat means I’m working hard and I’m earning something. Even if I don’t know what it is yet.

2. My grandma’s smell. Even though she’s been gone awhile on earth, she’s always in my heart. Sometimes, I swear I can smell her Merle Norman, homemade flour tortilla, sweet grandma smell.

3. Seeing my best friends after a really long time. It’s one thing to be able to talk to each other (thanks, cell phones) but being able to see Brittany and Anthony in real life is priceless.

4. Watching a groom’s face as his bride walks down the aisle. Because that’s when you can see true love.
5. Family. Sometimes they make me crazy. But they always make me really happy.

6. Sleeping during thunderstorms with the house at subzero tempuratures. Because is there any other way to sleep?

7. Knowing I wrote something good. People always ask me why I take my “hobby” so seriously. Because I’m putting something into the world and I want to make sure that what I’m putting into it is good. 

8. Having a full gas tank. Must be payday!

9. Texas. No reason necessary.

10. Blue Heeler puppy dogs. Because you can’t convince me there’s a better, more loyal dog in the whole world. I mean, come on, George Strait has one.
Tell me these guys are the most adorable puppies you’ve ever seen. I’m obsessed. Don’t judge me.
{What makes you really happy?}

15 Things You Didn’t Know I’m Terrible At

I’m not sure what’s going on in the blog-o-sphere, but I’ve seen a TON of posts that are like, “25 things you probably didn’t know about me”

So I decided to do one, too. With a twist.

15 Things You Didn’t Know I’m Terrible At

1. Dancing
If it isn’t choreographed, I can’t do it. At least not what people today call dancing, which is in all honesty, dry humping in a public place. Sorry, random guy I’ve never seen before, I would not like to simulate sex with you in front of my friends. I usually just stand there motionless, trying to pretend I’m not there and hoping, like a bear, if I stand there without moving long enough he’ll lose interest and go away.

2. Handling stress
I am the most dramatic person alive. For example, my stressful situation yesterday went like this: “MOM, THEY SAY I HAVE TO DO SLTs FOR KIDS I DIDNT EVEN TEACH ALL YEAR! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN? WHAT THE SHIZ? MY GOD, MOM, IF THEY MAKE ME DO THIS, I SWEAR TO ALL THINGS HOLY I WILL LAY DOWN AND DIE. RIGHT HERE. YOU HEAR ME, MOM? DIE.” This is how I handle it. Naturally, I am doing the SLTs and I am not dying. But I just know that if you increase the stress factor, I’m going to freak out. Even if it’s just in my head.

Seriously. I leave her messages like this all the time. What could she possibly be doing that she can’t answer the phone? I COULD BE DYING!

3. Multiplication tables
For real. I never memorized them. Why? Because my round tablemates and I cheated our way through 2nd grade math. My teacher said I would never survive adulthood if I didn’t learn them. Joke’s on you, Miss Palermo. I have a badass iPhone with a calculator. Who needs multiplication anyway?

4. Talking slowly
The only time I talk at a relatively slow pace is when I’m being condescending. Or when I’m being offensive and clapping on every syllable of every word. 

5. Technology
For all the technology I use everyday, I still don’t get it. What happened to 101987401 lb. Apple computers, MS paint, and 8″ floppy disks? I liked those days. 

6. Crossfit
To say I love crossfit so much, I’m pretty terrible at it. In fact, I pretty much hate everything about it. It shows me my weaknesses all the time. BUT that’s also why I love it. Because everyday, I suck a little bit less (that’s what she said) and it feels good to not suck so bad.

7. Holding grudges
I am terrible with holding grudges. And by terrible, I mean that I’m great at it and I can hold them forever. I know, I know, “Ace, that isn’t healthy”. Yeah, I get it. BUT, I do it. If you cross me or show me that you aren’t trustworthy, watch out, buddy. You’re about to see wrath and it isn’t attractive.

8. Being emotional
On the flip side, I am not an extremely emotional person until we’ve entered into a topic I’m very passionate about. I never really have been necessarily emotional about things and my friends would tell you that my most obvious emotion is anger. Which is why I’m like the Hulk. People don’t like me when I’m angry.

9. Telling jokes
I suck at this. My friends think I’m funny, but I’m a terrible joke teller. Why did the chicken cross the road? F*ck if I care.

10. Walking
I’m the most clumsy person I know. I constantly bang my feet, hips, elbows, and every other appendage on everything available. My mother doesn’t consider a year a success until I have fallen on my face in front of a huge crowd. Her first question is always, “are you okay?” and her next question is, “did anyone see you?” In my defense, two of my former boyfriends were acquired because they helped me up from a fall. Color me talented.

11. Leaping without looking
I cannot blindly jump into anything. I just can’t. I have an intense distrust of anything that someone tells me I should not question. I’m inquisitive. If I have questions and you’re legit, you should be able to answer my questions, dammit. Not asking questions is how people end up in cults and ponzi schemes, y’all.

12. Taking compliments
This is always an awkward situation, especially if the compliment is from a person I don’t really know. Mostly because if I’m not acquaintances with the person complimenting me, it’s probably a person that’s kind of sketchy. Also, when I’m in an uncomfortable situation, I defer everything with humor.

Sketchy guy: “say lil mama, I like the way you fill out that dress.”
Me: “uh, thanks but this is really just a body suit. When I unzip at the end of the night, I’m really an alien. Like on Men in Black.”
Sketchy guy: “um, okay?”

13. Not following a schedule
Y’all know about my obsession with making schedules and lists. I got all upset because I they don’t make my favorite dang planner anymore. But I hate “playing things by ear”. I don’t want to hang out until we find something to do. I want to know what we’re doing so I can put it on the schedule. That’s the way my life works. I schedule in free time. If we’re going to “play something by ear”, I’d rather just sleep.

14. Dealing with stupid people
I can accept people who don’t agree with me. I can’t accept people who just say/do stupid things. Things that don’t make any sense and have zero legitimate justification. People like that make my face turn green.

15. Shopping
I hate it. I’m terrible at it. When I go shopping, I go with a specific outfit in mind and if I can’t find it in 20 minutes, I quit. I turn into a big baby and throw tantrums. I don’t try things on. I would rather buy them and return them than try them on under florescent lighting. Actually, I’d rather buy them online and not have to go to a store at all. If I can’t find what I need in under 20 minutes then I must not have needed it after all. 

{what are y’all terrible at?}

Thankful Wednesday: 5/8/13

Another week, another Wednesday.
More things to be thankful for!

So things I’m especially thankful for:
1. Teacher Appreciation Week
2. Kids that “get it”
3. Accidentally overpaying bills
4. Other -awesome- blogs
5. You people

It’s teacher appreciation week. Who knew? Not this girl. This week, I pretty much felt just as underappreciated as always…UNTIL I was presented with a glorious candy bouquet and super sweet card (which was in my favorite colors). Even though I can’t eat the candy (because it’s clearly day #3 of #aceandsteph’s60daykickasschallenge) it was a super thoughtful thing to do that completely made my day. I also had a student bring me a teachers appreciation day probiotic cleanse drink because “she and her mama baked brownies for all the other teachers but she knows I don’t eat them, so they got me this instead.” She also added, “it’s sugar free and gluten free!” I am way thankful that I have students that are sweet enough to do that kind of thing.

Thankful today for kids that “get it”. Too often, I encounter kids (and adults) that just don’t get it! They don’t see the value of hard work and effort. SO thankful for this kid, from Baton Rouge’s own McKinley High who understands that a teacher-any kind of teacher-can only give you so much. It’s up to you to do something with what anyone gives you and make it great. The only thing I’m sad about is that this clearly awesome kid has chosen to change his career. Kids need more kids like you, D’Marqus.

I got my water bill today. And it was ($24.00). I was confused. I was like, “why are there parenthesis around the number?” and, “why is my bill so low?” So naturally, when I don’t know the answer to a question, I googled it. Turns out, after a review of my account, I overpaid my water bill last month. Substantially. How did I do it? I don’t know. Do I care? Hell no. NO WATER BILL PAYMENTS FOR ME THIS MONTH!

Other (awesome) blogs. Like pimpin’, bloggin’ ain’t easy. Sometimes, it’s hard to figure this shiz out. Like, what’s a button? HTML Code? A link up? WTF. But, by reading other blogs, I’ve learned a lot about blogging and I get to read other cool stuff, too. So I’m super thankful for the awesome people that started bloggin’ before me so they could pave the way…’n’ shit. Some of them are fitness bloggers, some are DIY, some are inspiring, some are just funny as f-word. Feel free to click on their buttons below and check ’em out. 

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The Daily Tay

Last thing, but definitely most important, I am thankful for people that have my back no matter what. Whether it’s having my back with my dieting (hey, steph!), encouraging me in the gym, or being right along side me when I’m in a fight (I wish this were just a hypothetical situation), I am so thankful for anyone who cares about me or my story enough to help me. Through this journey I have made a lot of friends and I have lost a lot of “friends”. Some of my best friends now, I have never met, and yet they manage to encourage and support me in my (sometimes seemingly aimless) journey. Thank you to every person who ever believed in me, shared my story with friends, did a giveaway with me, or just dropped me a note to tell me that you appreciate me. It means a lot more to me than you can possibly know and more than I can possibly express (mainly because my vocabulary is limited. I need to read more. I’m getting more dumb as days pass with no additional reading.)

What are y’all thankful for today?
(ps: if you can’t think of anything to be thankful for off top, just know that there’s a giveaway starting today on here. GET SO EXCITED.)

Started at the bottom now I’m…still at the bottom

So I’m a high school teacher, right?
And allllllllll day long I hear my kids saying things like, “I can’t wait to get out of high school and be on my own.” 
“I’m grown.”
“When I graduate, I’m gonna do whatever I want.”
Or, my favorite:
“Once I’m 18, I’m gonna have an awesome job that’s gonna pay for everything. My own car, my own house, my own everything. I’m not gonna listen to nobody and I’ma be my own boss. Can’t nobody tell me what to do. Started from the bottom, now I’m here, type shit.” (please note ALL the double negatives in this statement. This is really my life. This is what I have to listen to. What’s kept me from committing suicide and ending it all? I have no idea. Also note the Drake reference in everyday conversation. Started from the bottom and you’re probably going to hang out there for a while.)

blah. blah. blah.
good one, kid. 


no one ever believes the teacher, yo.
believe me. I’m smart. I know shit.
And I KNOW that shit was way better before I was a grown up.

I don’t care what anyone says: being grown up sucks. 
My whole life, I was all, “I can’t wait to get out of school and be on my own.” 
And then I got on my own and became enslaved to jobs, taxes, and bills. 
Did I really used to hope for this? I did.

These kids are scratching at the walls trying to be “grown” and I’m all over here trying to make forts out of blankets again.

Shit grown ups really  say:

I don’t even have a job in my field.
Why did I even need that degree?
I gotta go to bed, I have work in the morning.
Jean day on Friday. FINALLY!
Raising taxes? WHAT THE F*CK?
So my premiums went up and my coverage went down?
What’s a 401K?
I really regret this tattoo now.
Why is the coffee gone?
DAMMIT! I put my name on my lunch and someone took it anyway!
I slept in today. All the way to 7 am.
I want to take off, but my paid vacation ran out 3 months ago.
My checking account balance is $3 for the next 2 weeks.
I’d love to go to happy hour, but I need a nap.
I hate everyone.
Can I go back to school?
What do you mean I have to wear pantyhose?
Where’s the rest of the coffee?
My gas light is on…I think I can make it home. 
Why did I think I was fat in high school?
Work is making me eat my feelings.
Kids are so weird these days.
Why does my unlimited data plan cost so much?
Wait, there are two separate charges for water AND sewer?
Seriously, what’s a 401K?
Sallie Mae is blowing up my phone right now.
I wanna try new xyz workout but it’s so expensive and I’m always so tired.
I like my friends. But I like my bed more.
Who knew insurance was so expensive?
What do you mean, “file my taxes”?
If I’m gonna get through this, I need another bottle of wine.
What does “going ham” mean? Ham is a lunchmeat.
I try my best to be nice to people…just kidding. I don’t care about other people’s feelings.
Dammit. I knew I should have been an engineer.
What the hell am I going to do with a liberal arts degree?
I’m only gonna work at {insert retail chain here} until I can find a job in my field.
Is it okay to live with your parents after 25?
What about after 30?
College was so awesome. Why did we ever leave?
Can I have a raise?
Why can’t I have a raise?
Take the degree back, Sallie Mae! I’m not using the damn thing anyway.

On a fitness note: day 2 of #AceAndSteph’s60DayKickAssChallenge and I pretty much want to fight everyone and everything. Especially this bitchass flower pot that’s been eyeing me. YEAH, I SEE YOU, FLOWERS.

I may have just lost it today. My bad.

Everybody! Listen up! The thing about: Hate Mail

For every 5 awesome, wonderful, great progress/success stories I get from a reader, I probably get about 1 hate message.

They usually range in topic and my friends and I find them pretty entertaining, if for nothing else than a good laugh.

Sometimes it’s from someone I know and it’s all, “I liked you better before you lost weight” (you did? I was all self-loathing and depressed. This says more about you than it does me) or “you just think you’re the shit because you work out”. (uh, I’m not?) Sometimes it’s from someone I don’t know and it’s all “you’re obsessed,” (I am.) “things like this are why you obviously can’t have a good relationship,” (I have an awesome relationship with my foam roller and a pull up bar, thanks) or, my personal favorite, “you’re a b-word and you’re judgemental of people that don’t take care of themselves.”(You’re right. I can be a b-word. It’s one of my more endearing qualities. And I just want everyone to be their best selves. Including me. Sue me.)

Dawg. Sorry I’m not sorry.

This blog isn’t about you and your haterade drinking self. This blog documents my journey through life. MINE. I’m human, I make mistakes, I survive, I have setbacks, I work hard, I get lazy, I try to help people when and if I can. Whatever. It’s my story.

I do this stuff because back in the gap, I got really tired of living my life for other people. So now, I do things that make me happy. Working out and eating good stuff are both things that make me happy. Duh.

If you’re one of the people that reads my stuff and is like, “this chick is nuts/obsessed/a b-word/full of shiz” Well, that’s life. I hope you’re doing a ton of stuff that totes makes you happy.

You’re welcome to continue to send me hate mail. Send me a ton! Just know that my friends and I sit down and read it…and laugh about it at your expense. Because we’re b-words like that.