Y’all know how much I love my parents. Really love them. I don’t go a day without talking to one (most of the time, both) of them. They’re fantastic.
I am super lucky that my friends love them, too and value their advice. So when I came up with the idea of letting my mama take over my blog as an “Ask Mama Nancy” thing, my friends were totally into it.
Well, folks, y’all have blown my socks off. We got so many great questions and I am especially grateful that Mama Nancy AND Daddy Carlos have chosen to answer them for you.
Without further ado…
Mama Nancy: Because I don’t have a specific routine that I follow involving morning creams, cleansing, nightly creams, cleansing, etc. with expensive anti-aging creams/lotions/etc. (although I probably should), I do use products containing moisturizer as much as possible. Most of my life I have used Ivory soap for baths and to remove makeup. Within last five years have begun use moisturizing hand soap for baths and hand washing (buy the large “Soft Soap” bottles of Honey and Cream). I use Suave body lotion (Baby Powder scent) after bath. Cetafil moisturizing cream on my face as my base before applying makeup, and do not wear makeup on the weekends (unless we are going out).
MN: Sneaking out of the house at age 13. Aislinn snuck out of the house via her bedroom window late at night after we had all gone to bed to go joy riding with some friends. Given the hour and her means of exiting guessing she believed I would never find out. WRONG!!!! Momma’s can feel it when their kids are up to something. I woke up during the night. Checked in on her and found her not in bed and the window slightly raised and the screen removed. I replaced the screen; locked the window; turn off the lights in her room, and waited. At around 2:00 a.m. I heard her at the window. She knew she had been found out and was in trouble. I opened the front door, stood on the porch and waited for her to come to me. I told her I was extremely disappointed in her. Through this one thoughtless act she had endangered herself and lost my trust, which would take a considerable time to earn back. She was grounded for a month, and I mean grounded. She never, ever did it again.
DC: Kiss a boy in the computer room. Poor guy, I made him so uncomfortable that he had to leave. Well, that’s what daddies do.
MN: All the time.
DC: Yes, I worry all the time because she does not listen.
MN: I can’t recall Aislinn ever doing anything to embarrass me. I do recall her “yearly fall” in the upperclassman halls while in junior high and high school and even the first year of college. Had I fallen in a crowd as she did, I would have been supremely embarrassed. So each time I learned about a fall, I felt embarrassed for her (but only after ensuring she had not hurt herself). But she wasn’t really embarrassed, either. Her reaction upon falling flat on her face in a crowded school hallway (or in front of the LSU Student Union) was to laugh at herself. (Good for her!) Inevitably, the good looking guys would run to her rescue. (Maybe that is why she was never embarrassed?)
DC: Floor (knock out) one of the boys cause he would not stop bothering her and trying to kiss her.
DC: Dude, anyone can see she has “Dain Bramage”. Dude where have you been? (Thanks, Daddy)
MN: Beef fajitas and guacamole.
DC: Aaahhhhh anything that tastes good and if I am allergic to it…well I will just have to deal with that later.
MN: Because she would not have been a III (Junior, maybe, but I didn’t like my name enough to saddle my daughter with a “junior”), and I really liked the name “Aislinn” which is Gaelic for “Beloved Dream”. I was given both my mother’s legal name (Aurora) and her nickname (Nancy). Nancy a nickname? Let me tell you a story. When my mother was born, my grandmother named her Nancy. My grandfather liked the name Aurora. In those days, with home births, birth certificates were completed at the county courthouse. My grandfather did the honors. Guess what name he put on the birth certificate? Right! Not Nancy. When my mom needed a copy of her birth certificate at age 18, the courthouse personnel were unable to find it under the name Nancy. But they did find an Aurora with her date of birth and parents. (My grandmother gave my grandfather an earful about this, according to my mother). Mom, nonetheless, was always and forever known as Nancy never using the name Aurora.
I loved the name Aislinn. First saw it in a book by Kathleen Woodiweiss called “The Wolf and the Dove”, a book I read after finals my senior year in college in 1974 (13 years before Aislinn was born.). Loved the beauty and the strength of the character named Aislinn and the name itself. Thought then about naming a daughter Aislinn, IF I ever had one. In 1987, when my husband and I learned we were going to have a baby girl. He readily agreed. He selected her middle name Alysse.
DC: I guess for the same reason girls don’t use their mother’s wedding dress. From what I can see…naming the kid after you/wearing the mom’s dress seems to be the mother’s wish and the daughter tries to let her down gently by saying ” But Mom, the last time you saw this dress it was on yourself. Why would you want to ruin that vision?” (Is that a left handed complement?) Way to reference my post, daddy. Haha.
MN: Sitting under a mesquite tree drinking ice cold beer. Eating the fajitas, mojellas, and pinto beans cooked over an open campfire. And leaving.
DC: No one to bother me and can “Crop dust” all I want or as more sophisticated people like to say “drop a Rose” Farting, guys. He’s talking about farting.
MN: Wow! That’s a tough one. Given all the pressures of high school (which unfortunately continue to some degree or another thereafter, too), I think the best advice is to know your values, live your values, and know you have value. AND when and if you have any doubts or are in any way uncertain, talk to your parents. We were young once, too. The challenges of growing up don’t really change that much.
DC: Support yourself women have the last word on sex. You can always borrow a guy for the night cause it is less expensive. And go on about your business and don’t hold your breath and girls should stop thinking that being married is the ultimate thing in life.
MN: Trust me, it is far from perfect! (Wavy with frizzies) But when it does look “perfect” it is because of the precision haircut by an excellent master haircutter named Helen at Visible Changes in Memorial City Mall who over the past 15 years has come to know my hair and what it can and cannot (or should not) do. AND a Chi straightener.
DC: I don’t. It’s too much work and if you’re ugly like me, what difference could it make? Perfect guys hair is like when I see people who dyed there hair and now they really look dead…sorry, that is not one of my aspirations.
MN: See answer to # 10 above.
DC: Just treat us like your dog (hope you’re a good owner). Yes, we will tell you what you want to hear but you must understand that we do not really mean it ’cause…’cause well, we weren’t made that way!
13. What are your top 5 favorite southern sayings?-Lacey
MN: “If I tell you a rooster can plow, hitch him up.” (My favorite!)
DC: “Wow, that chick is hot.”
“Does it taste good?”
“Does it come with fries?”
“Have it your way”
MN: Despite my having vehemently insisted I would never repeat it to my children because I hated hearing it, the best advice is, “Because I said so!” Your parents are the ones who will always love you unconditionally, have only your best interest at heart, and are determined to protect you from all things including yourself and to help you learn to be the best you can be. When they say, “Because I said so,” it is after consideration of all of the above. The hope is that once they are adults, they will have come to that realization and make decisions for themselves they have learned to love themselves unconditionally, act in their own best interest, and make decisions that makes them and their lives the best it can be.
DC: If you don’t stop kissing that boy in the computer room, I am going to beat you both with a chancla (sandal. In Spanish). Aislinn will say the same thing to her nieces ’cause she is not allowed to marry. Okay, she can adopt a dog.
MN: Truthfully, I can’t think of any advice I have ever given that is not in some way derived from something I learned from my mother or my father. Maybe that is the way it should be.
DC: I’m proud of you for decking that boy to the floor. Oh, don’t listen to your mother she’s a girl.
MN: I feel the same overwhelming sense of joy and wonder today for Aislinn as I did the first time the nurse put her in my arms 26 years ago. She was a wonder then – my first and only child, with 10 perfect fingers and toes, my nose, her daddy’s eyes and chin, and my mom and dad’s first grandchild. Throughout her life, I have seen wonderful traits and characteristics I can trace back to my mother and others within the family. To this day she continues to amaze me with all her talents, skills, her passions and compassion, and all she is capable of doing, has accomplished, and is likely to accomplish in the future. She truly is a composite of all that is the best of both her daddy and I and all those who came before her. We are blessed.
DC: My wife would say “Thank you Mija for not listening to your Dad”. Sorry guys, girls don’t understand that things work better in reverse…she listened to me kind of a lot and she came out purtyyy good.
MN: I don’t. I immediately give her “the look” which she has come to know from an early age, means stop it NOW, or I say, “You don’t talk to me that way,” and walk away. Either way, she knows she is in trouble and it will cost her something she values.
DC: First I will slap the biscuits out of you and conserve my energy for something more rewarding than counting. Counting, really? Who the hell started that? Could not have been a guy.
MN: You answered your own question, but I’d like to elaborate a bit. Aislinn is an adult who is responsible for making her own decisions regarding her life and its direction. Thankfully, she still asks our opinion and considers it . Aislinn comes from a family on both sides who have served their country. Her grandfathers on both sides and ALL of her great uncles WWII veterans. Several of her uncles and cousins, also on both sides of the family, have served and continue to in the military. (One even graduated from the Air Force Academy.) That she would consider the military is not a surprise given the value we place on service to country and community. However, we are also very aware of the inherent risks of military service. We trust she will consider all aspects of any commitment she may choose to make to serve in the military, and if in the end she decides to make the commitment, then I like my grandmothers, aunts, and my mother before me, will pray every day that she be kept out of harm’s way and sees her safely home.
DC: Sounds to me like someone does not think the Marines are a good organization. This falls under one of many categories but the first and most pressing is “success or failure on your terms or mine”. Only after the decision has been made and there is some history behind it will we know if it was the right decision or not. Any one coming out of the forces and says it was good is saying they were successful. If a person says the experience was negative then we’ll know it was not successful. The idea is life is to line up what you will be involved in in a manor such that it is leading you toward your goals or accomplishments. I remember when she was a kid and set up a lemonade stand. She was disappointed to say the least. So I asked, “what did you learn?” She started with these people are this, that and the other. So I told her “No. What you learned was: that Lemonade is not what sells around here, bone head!!!” Oh don’t worry she did many other things and succeeded.
DC: Work at the ranch and have a can of Bud Light in each hand. You should see how well developed my…
Did you really think I was going to say arms?
If its from both, how do you guys get along?-Anonymous
MN: Probably from both of us, but Aislinn is her own person and perhaps represents the best of both of us. As for my husband and I, we have been happily married for almost 28 years. So far; so good. (At the time of our engagement, my husband jokingly set out the terms of a marriage contract as he envisioned it – a 50 year term of marriage with an option to renew every 10 years thereafter. Even after 28 years, fully expect to fulfil the terms of the contact and then some!)
DC: Mostly I am amazed at how smart Nancy and Aislinn are. Me, I don’t want to be smart. It’s too much responsibility. Of course, when we get pissy we say things like, “well, you’re just like your uncle so and so!” but that doesn’t last long ’cause then I get hungry and decide that eating is more important than being pissy. Hey, what do you want? I’m a guy, remember? The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Duh. Where have you been?
MN: If checking Aislinn’s blog every 2 or 3 weeks or so and reading all entries to catch up equates to regular, then yes, I am a regular reader. I’m glad you think Aislinn’s blog is “genius”. I think she is pretty awesome myself. I love her sense of self and humor. She makes me laugh (most of the time.)
DC: Us guys don’t even read instructions when they are provided…what would ever make anyone think that I would read a blog? Hell, I was busy installing a “Solar powered water pump”. Do you really believe I have time to read a blog? Goodness. HAHAHAHA He makes a valid point.
MN: You know, after we had Aislinn, my husband and I wanted more children. We tried and sought medical help, but after a while we decided to leave it in God’s hands. God’s answer was, “No.” As is often the case, we sometimes do not know the “reason” behind God’s plan for us. Now that we have seen Aislinn through elementary, junior high, high school, college, graduate school, and all of the attendant costs, challenges, etc. we now know the reason — ONE CHILD IS MORE THAN ENOUGH!!!!! Please do not take offense. We are just too far along in years to start over. Nonetheless, will give you one piece of advice — you have only to look homeward for sage advice.
DC: When I see parents putting up with their “little tricycle motors” (babies), I am sooooo glad that I am older than dirt and past all the child raising. When you get old you get very selfish with your time. I guess if I had a lot of money, I would do it, but don’t hold your breath. I am not in the mood for putting up with more stuff.