A Word About Feminism

Feminism is getting a really bad rep these days. 

For some reason, I keep seeing women talking about being “anti-feminists” because “they don’t believe they should have to hate men” or “they don’t think women deserve special rights to put them above men” or because they “don’t think it’s okay to be a hate mongering asshole”.

Weird. Because I agree with all those things and I am, indeed, a feminist. 


1. I would love and respect my boyfriend, too. 2. I make my own decisions without being pressured. 3. I enjoy makeup and like feeling pretty. Also, I don’t need to be superior to men. I want to be equal.
“I need to be partnered”–Which is exactly why we should be equal.


So when people say this ridiculous shit, I channel my inner Inigo and say “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”

Imagine a world where there was actually a whole movement dedicated to equality of the sexes…oh wait.
Rights that you would, quite literally, not have without the feminist movement.



So here’s the skinny (strong?) about feminism:
It just means being equal. It means believing that a woman’s life is worth the same as a man’s life. 
I mean, I think we should all agree to that, right?

What feminism doesn’t mean:
Feminism DOESN’T MEAN you hate men. (uh, obvs, I’m a man lover over here).
Feminism DOESN’T MEAN you get special consideration. (Uh, because if you got special consideration, you’re not equal. See?)
Feminism DOESN’T MEAN you’re a hate mongering asshole. (I mean, you might be. But that doesn’t make you a feminist.)

IT JUST MEANS YOU WANT THE SEXES TO BE EQUAL. 

Herein lies the problem. A lot of women (and men) have become so accustomed to today’s lifestyle, they don’t really realize the part that feminism has played in where we are socially. 

Like, without strong women and men who supported equality of the sexes, a woman would still be considered a man’s property.

Without strong women and men who supported equality of the sexes, women would not be allowed to go to school.

Without strong women and men who supported equality of the sexes, women would not be so much as CLOSE to a computer, much less able to create a meme of their own image holding a sign declaring why they’re “anti-feminist”. 

See where I’m going with this?

So stop it. Stop holding women back and telling us to get back in the kitchen, take off our shoes and get knocked up already. 

Stop telling little girls that they can’t be strong or that they can’t be whatever-the-hell they want to be-whether it’s an astronaut, a stay at home mama, or a crossfit affiliate owner– because they freakin’ can. 

Stop telling girls that when men mistreat them on the street they should just “ignore it” or when a man yells some obscene thing at them that they should “take it as a compliment”. 

STOP. 

Your girls and your women are worth more. They are worth every bit as much as everyone else. And they should know it. 
Because you should tell them. 
You should encourage them to be strong.

Encourage women AND men to love each other.
And protect EACH OTHER.
And lift EACH OTHER up. 

Because the only way our society gets any stronger is if we all get stronger together.

"You should just say ‘thank you’"

Growing up, I was taught to say “thank you”. When is it appropriate to say “thank you”? 
When someone does something that you appreciate.

I find myself saying “thank you” a lot. 

“Thank you for holding the door.”
“Thank you for posting that today, I needed it.”
“Thank you for inviting me to lunch.”

The other day, I was talking with a male friend about how much I hate going to the gas station. I hate it. Not because I hate getting gas (even though it puts a huge dent in my wallet) or because I hate going inside to grab whatever. 

I hate it because I almost always get unwanted attention. 

Recounting my last gas station experience, some man felt like it was appropriate to make some kind of suggestive comment about how I look/how my body looks/how he’d love to take me home. And then he looked me up and down like I was a steak.
That happens a lot of times to a lot of women.
It makes me cringe. 

I am not a thing. I’m not some item that he can just buy and take home with him because he purchased it. It is not okay to just say whatever the hell he–or anyone else–wants to me.
And then, when I reject him via ignoring him, he gets mad. 
“You don’t have to be a bitch about it. I was just saying I like how you look.”

To this story, my male friend said, “You should just say ‘thank you’, he just wanted you to know you’re attractive.”

WHAT THE HELL.

This is wrong. 
I should not have to be subjected to inappropriate comments and then say “thank you” like it’s okay. Like I appreciate being talked to like that. Because I don’t.
There’s a difference in being complimentary and being disrespectful.
“You are lovely” does not equal “aye, girl, I like that ass”.

Gender roles suck.
As a woman, I’m expected to just say thank you because women are demure and genteel. Where if a man were receiving unwanted attention, it would be perfectly fine for him to aggressively reject that attention. 
If I reject that attention, I’m labeled a bitch.

I will not say “thank you”.
I will not let anyone think it’s okay to touch my body without my permission or talk to me in a way that is derogatory or demeaning.

I am not a thing. I am a person who is deserving of being treated like a person. 

I will not say “thank you” because I don’t appreciate what you’re doing.
I will not say “thank you” because I strongly suspect that people would change their behavior if they realized that #YesAllWomen deal with this treatment. Even your sisters, daughters, mothers, aunts and friends.

I will not say “thank you” because I don’t owe a thank you, much less any of myself to you.