It’s not you. It’s me.

Dear Reebok,

I hate to do this to you. Really. I swear it hurts me more than it hurts you and I’m doing this for your own good. But we have to break up.

I want you to know that I worked really hard at this relationship. I did. But things just aren’t working out. I was dedicated to you. I was all, “oh, I LOVE reebok! They’re the official apparel for CrossFit!” so I made literally every effort to support you.

But you don’t support ME, Reebok! And I can’t take it anymore.
Let me explain. 

It started at last year’s regionals. I bought your black, skinny strapped sports bra. You know the one with the little CrossFit triangle on the back and the “Reebok CrossFit” written in the neckline. So cute. I took out those weird little soft mold cups (wtf are those, anyway?) and I wore it really proudly to the 5 am workout and everything was good.

Until it wasn’t.

Our workout consisted of something involving box jumps and toes to bar. There could have been other movements, but honestly, I don’t remember what they were and I don’t care. What I do remember? Those eeny-meeny straps letting my boobs MANHANDLE that bra until the damn thing was at  my waist. Have you ever tried to do box jumps with your sports bra hanging out like a belt?! 
I was having to stop every 3 seconds to pull it up. I seriously considered chucking the damn thing and just winging (jiggling?) it.

I decided it was time for a break in our relationship. I was so mad at you.
So I took my nice, new, $60 bra and let it sit at the bottom of my sports bra drawer (Ace, you have a sports bra drawer? Yeah, I do).
For the rest of the year. 

This is the bra I’m talking about. Y U NO STAY ON ME, BRA?!

Fast forward to this year’s regionals.
I worked the event again so Reebok was really generous and gave us discounted apparel. And I was like, “AW REEBOK! YOU DO LOVE ME!” so I decided to welcome you back into my loving arms. I bought a cute regionals tank and some cute shorts…and then I saw them. NEW BRA DESIGNS. 

Gone were the days of skinny strapped bras! These new sports bras had thick straps. Some had double straps. I rejoiced! But not one to get beside myself, I approached with caution. I tried one on and, at the suggestion of my friend Kat, I came out of the dressing room and did a burpee. AND IT STAYED PUT. 

Had my double D prayers been answered? It appeared so, Reebok.

LOOK AT THOSE STRAPS, Y’ALL


I wore my bras all through regionals. I was jogging up stairs, running around like a chicken with my head cut off on the floor, doing all the things! And I was impressed with the bras.

But we both know this was a temporary fix to a much larger problem in our relationship (see what I did there?)
I got home and wore my brand new purchases to the box. 6:30 class. And sure enough. There I was adjusting. Pulling and pushing. Desperately trying to keep my dang boobs in my bra. And then there was the running–the SPRINTING. I almost flashed approximately 4 people and a dog on a 400m. run. 

It just wasn’t working out. And I knew that this was going to be another purchase that sits at the bottom of my sports bra drawer. 

I can’t do this anymore. The frustration. The power struggle. Who will win today? Will it be you or my bust line? Who even knows anymore? We can’t keep score like this! 

I’m exhausted, Reebok. I can’t support you and me by myself. It’s time I moved on and found something with a more restricting lycra blend. 
I hope you understand. 

And if, one day, you ever develop a more mature fabric that knows what it’s goals are and meets them. Give me a call.

Until then, this is not a farewell, just a “see you later”.

All my love,
Aislinn

One, Five, Ten

“Where do you see yourself in a year? Five years? Ten years?”

Recently, Bonnie over at The Life of Bon asked this question to her high school English classes. 

After thinking about it, you know what?I am not in any of the places I thought I would be when I was graduating high school. I don’t even know if I considered back then growing up to be the person I actually am.

Dance Team Banquet. Seniors. Front row, third from right. 

Senior prom. Yes, my flip phone is rhinestoned.

New York Dance Team trip. 

Senior Night with Brittany

One year
What I thought: I thought I’d be pre-med at LSU, loving it. Definitely getting straight A’s and loving going to the best party school in the country. I was going to have a ton of friends and probably a super hot boyfriend. And I was going to make the dean’s list for sure. I was also going to be super skinny and drinking allllll that beer was definitely NOT going to make me gain weight. Oh, and I was going to run a marathon. I think I actually wrote that down somewhere. Silly me.

I don’t know what was going on or why I’m not wearing shoes.

Before the weight gain happened…but you see what’s in my hand, right? It’s coming.

One year
Where I was: I did go to LSU and I did declare pre-med as my major…and hated every second of it. Making friends wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be and it felt like everything constantly reminded me that I wasn’t in Texas anymore. Thankfully, my next door neighbor and eventual roommate, Emily, helped me navigate the friends thing. There were a lot of all nighters where I called Mama Nancy crying, begging to come home. I also wanted to transfer to University of Texas-San Antonio because that’s where all my friends from high school went. I definitely missed out on the magic, “drink me and you won’t gain weight” beer because I drank the regular shit and gained a ton. And I didn’t run. Not one time, not one mile.

Know what this looks like? Bad decisions.

We may or may not have decided to jump on stage. At a bar. In the middle of someone’s musical performance.

Holly, Emily, Kelsey, Me, Tissy, Higgs, Blaum

When I still had little boobs.

Five years
What I thought: I would have totally graduated college and I’d have a super great job-to-career doing something I really loved for a lot of money. I’d probably be married already and working on starting a family. I’d be living back in Texas to be close to my parents. Obviously.

Crowning my successor.

Krissy Bug. Best friends for life.

Graduate. Finally.

5 yearsWhere I was: I was just graduating college with concentrations in 3 different, completely unrelated things. I was engaged to be married and working in property management managing apartments. I didn’t really have any idea what I wanted to do: did I want to continue in this career? Did I want to try something else? I had a brief flirtation with the idea of going to law school and took the LSAT. I did well, but I decided I didn’t hate myself enough to actually go to law school. Something told me to be a teacher, so I got my certification and started my teaching career at Istrouma High School (one of the best experiences of my life). I also realized how much weight I had gained and started trying to do something about it. 

10 yearsWhat I thought: I thought that by 28, I’d have shit together. I’d be way involved in my marriage. I’d have a kid or two. Or twelve. I’d own a house with a dog. I’d be a hospital’s chief of surgery by now (because everyone becomes a chief of surgery in like, 3 years, right?) and I’d volunteer on the weekends. I’d hang out with my mama and be busing my kids back and forth to whatever practice/birthday party/whatever.

8 years
Where I am: I haven’t made it to my 10 year yet (uh, 2 years away. WHAT?) but so far…I’m not all that close to what I thought. At all. I’m finishing my masters program in Kinesiology. The closest thing I have to a kid is Axl, who is the best kid EVER. I’m still teaching AND still working in property management and I’m working toward becoming a Marine Officer. I have good friends, I pay all my own bills, I have a great relationship with my parents and my tolerance for bullshit is pretty low. I like playing with other people’s kids and I hate laundry. Most days being a grown up sucks, but it’s pretty satisfying knowing that, as tiring as it can be, I get shit done. I still get carded buying beer and I’m okay with that. Oh, and I lost that freshman 40 from college. Finally.

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Me and the kid
Naturally I hang out with Mama Nancy

Where did you see yourself in a year, 5 years, 10 years from high school?
**PS: Athlete profiles on Saturdays will be BACK next week!

Whining and Bellyaching

“I don’t have time.”
“This is too hard.”
“I can’t.”
“I’m too weak.”
“I’m not in good enough shape yet.”
“It’s too time consuming.”
“I’m not on your level yet.”
“I want to lose weight, but it’s so difficult.”
“I love carbs too much.”
Blah. Blah. Blah.
This all comes down to wants and needs.
Simple economics.
Can you give up the things that you want for the things that you need?
I want to eat cheese enchiladas for every meal everyday and not get fat.
I want to lay in bed for my whole life and still be able to run miles and beat myself.
But I can’t.
It’s not what I need.
Can you not watch Real Housewives for an hour to use that hour at the gym?
Can you substitute spaghetti squash for pasta?
Can you give up the easy for the more difficult?
Can you get your ass off the comfortable couch and start finding the pavement more comfortable?
You can do all that shit. But will you?
What are you willing to give up to be more healthy?
Or are you good with just whining and bellyaching?
It’s time to stop “trying.”
Stop trying to run. Trying to start crossfit. Trying to eat clean.
Start running.
Start crossfitting.
Start eating clean.
Start focusing on health.
Start doing.


You are not ready for CrossFit…

…and you will never be ready for CrossFit.


So you should absolutely start today. Right now. Right this second. 

Photo by Christopher Nolan-www.metconphotos.com

I am never prepared when I walk into the box. 
Whether I know or I don’t know what’s on the whiteboard for today.
There is always a feeling in the pit of my stomach that reminds me that I am decidedly unprepared for whatever I’m about to do.

Kind of like when you’re about to take the test of your whole life and you know you should have studied harder or memorized more.
Except this is not that kind of test. 

This test is going to ask more of you.
Demand more of you.
It’s not about your body. Your body can handle it.
This one is about your mind.
Can your mind push through the suck?
Can you convince yourself to give those last 5 reps?

I can.
You can.

This is not easy.
This is not leg lifts in leg warmers on your living room floor watching tv.

This is sweaty.
This is difficult.
This will be painful.
This will get done.

Whether it takes 5 minutes or 35 minutes.
You’ll do it.

And you’ll be back tomorrow and the next day and do it all over again.

That’s when something awesome happens. One day, you’ll walk into the box and you’ll do the work out and it will seem…easy. That’s you, getting better.
So you’ll do the unthinkable.
You’ll do something that you never thought you’d do when you first entered the box.
You’ll make it harder. On purpose.
You’ll add more weight.
You’ll move faster to make it more difficult.
You’ll get even better.
You will purposely make sure that you aren’t ready.

Because your success–your goals–are beyond comfortable. 
You have to be uncomfortable to see how far you can really go.
To find your best self.
So you’re not going to be ready.
But you can start out toward your dreams.

Today.
Right now.
Right this second.

3…2…1…GO. 



‘Cause we could all be better people

I’m taking a cue from my friend Lauren over at Breaking the Mold today and making some goals for this year. Not too many, not too few, just enough. 

20 in ’14.

I’m not much for resolutions, but I always seem to find areas in my life that I can improve upon. Because we can all be better people, right?!

So here it goes:

Blog:
1. Increase readership through use of social media (I’m stuck using my personal twitter when I should be using my Eat.Pray.WOD twitter!) If you wanna follow me on Eat.Pray.WOD twitter you can do that HERE. If you want to follow me on my personal twitter, you can do that HERE.
2. Post more often. I was kinda slacking in the last half of 2013.
3. Bring back some fan favorite features…like Athlete Profiles!
4. Promote my Facebook Page more.
5. Gain more/Maintain awesome relationships with sponsors and fellow bloggers. Hi friends!

Family:
6. Write my daddy a letter every week
7. Call my mama everyday.
8. Visit home once a month
9. Spend a major holiday with my sister and brother
10. Visit Hebbronville home at least once this year

Fitness:
11. Continue running 3-5 times/week
12. Continue crossfitting 4-6 times/week
13. 18% body fat! Say whaaaaat? I don’t even know if this is really possible.
14. Mother effin’ muscle ups.
15. 8 minute mile.

Personal:
16. Buy myself a new piece of work clothing twice a month.
17. WEAR JEWELRY! 
18. Actually do my laundry all the way. Wash, dry, fold, put away–at the same damn time!
19. Run Komen Race for the Cure in memory of my girl, Randa
20. Volunteer at the VA clinic on a regular basis. 


So there you go. 
20 in ’14. 
Here’s hoping I can keep it together and accomplish this stuff and hoping my girl Lauren will keep me accountable!

Do y’all have any big goals for 2014?

Here we go, 2014. Me and you.


How badly do you want it?

“First they’ll ask you, ‘why?’, then they’ll ask ‘how?'”
That was one of the first quotes I read when I decided to not be fat anymore. It’s still one of the truest things I’ve ever read.

When I started committing to being more healthy, people asked–and still ask–why?
Why order meat and veggies when you could order fried chicken?
Why spend an hour or two in the gym on Friday night when you’re missing out on free drinks at Fred’s?
Why?
Why?
Why?

When I really committed and I started seeing results, they started asking, “how?”
How did you lose the weight?
How do I lose weight, too?
How do I lift more?
How do I get a butt?
How do I lose belly fat?
How?
How?
How?

To be honest, I just did. I improve on things everyday. Most days it sucks, but it’s always worth it. I get tired. My bed is just as comfortable as yours is. I don’t want to get out of it in the morning and run, but I do. Some days, I want to just go home after work, but I don’t. I go to the gym.

A lot of days, I want to eat all the cakes. But I eat carrots instead.
Everyday I want to drink all the diet cokes. But I drink water instead.

How did I do it? I just weighed my options.
Do I want to be sick or do I want to be healthy?
How badly do I want to be healthy?
Is being healthy worth giving up the things that are making me sick?

Answer:
I want to be healthy.
I want to be healthy really badly.
Being healthy is worth giving up the things I want for the the things I need.

Everyday is progress.
I’m not perfect. Sometimes I eat the damn cake and I drink the damn diet coke.
But everyday I get a little better.

And that’s good enough for me.

So if you’re like me and you’re wondering how, ask yourself:
“how badly do I want it?”

And then go get it.

Some days the bar defeats you

A lot of days, I go into the box and I know I’m gonna murder the WOD. I just know it. I don’t give a shit about what’s on the whiteboard and I don’t care if I come in last. I’m going to kill this workout because I can.

Yesterday was not that day.
I could say that I wasn’t really prepared to come to the gym, it was a rash decision that I made at the end of work.
I didn’t have the shoes I needed for the mile run I needed to do prior.
I wasn’t really feeling it.
All excuses.

source

As I loaded my barbell (with 30# under the RX weight, I might add), I didn’t feel the fire I usually feel. The hulk shit wasn’t happening for me.

That 15 minute AMRAP was agonizing. Not because the weight was heavy or the burpees sucked (although, who are we kidding? The burpees always suck). But because the bar had defeated me before I ever touched it.

I walked out of the gym berating myself.
I could have been stronger.
I could have moved faster.
I should have been eating better.
I should be sleeping better.
I should have been more consistent getting in the gym.
Why do I even do this to myself? I’ve lost so much strength.
I cried the whole way home.

By the time I got back to my apartment–where Axl was waiting for me, so excited to finally have me home–I realized something.

Sometimes you defeat the bar. Sometimes the bar defeats you. But the most important thing is the choice you make after you get defeated. Did you go back? Or did you decide to walk away because it got too hard?

The bar defeated me yesterday.
But I’m going back today.
This is not too hard.