I don’t have my shit together.

I don’t have my shit together.

I don’t. 
I want to. I want to wake up everyday and know exactly what my purpose is and what paths I’m supposed to take to achieve my goal of all goals.

But I don’t.
What I’m doing now is not what I thought I’d be doing 10 years ago. Hell, it’s not what I thought I’d be doing 10 minutes ago. 

And I don’t really know if anyone knows what the hell we’re actually doing. For me, I take one day at a time, I look at the decisions in front of me and I choose the ones that I think are going to point me in the right direction. 

Sometimes those decisions are as big as starting a new job or deciding whether or not to pursue another degree. Sometimes those decisions are as small as keeping my mouth shut when I don’t want to (although my friends would argue that this is a pretty monumental achievement for me).

Everyday, I make decisions and I just hope that they’re the right ones that will get me to where I want to go.
And if they don’t, I hope like hell I can change them. 

So here’s to not having my shit together, taking each day a decision at a time, crossing off to do lists, and moving back to Texas in exactly 4 months (!!!). 

Thankful Wednesday: 5/1/13

Today I am thankful for:

1. To-do lists
2. My senior kiddos
3. Sleep (when I can get it)

I am thankful for my super awesome (but discontinued) 365 day, 8.5″x11″ planner from Mead. It gives me a page for everyday that I manage to fill up with ridiculous things to do. I am thankful that I actually find time to get some (if not all) of the things crossed off my lists everyday. I do my best! I am really pissed that Mead no longer makes my awesome planner. Color me disappointed. 

Y’all see this? I even have to plan for packing things and when to do my laundry. Geeze.

This is the last week of school for my senior kiddos. I always say to  myself, “you will not get so attached. You will not attach yourself to these kids this year.” But, inevitably, I do. Dammit. And I get all sad and weepy when it’s time for them to leave. And I get especially sad for my seniors because they’re leaving to be real people and I am sadexcitedscaredexcitednervousexcited for them. In spite of themselves sometimes, I love these little boogers a lot (even though I would never, ever tell them to their faces. But if they’re reading my blog–which some of them do–they know now.)

With my ridiculous work schedule, I don’t get a lot of it, but boy have I been thankful for the 3-4 hours I’ve been getting every night. I am sincerely looking forward to summer when I can get more zzz’s and workouts in. EEK!